Last weekend was an eyeopener. I was trying too hard.. then i got it. what I always felt when i hit the jackpot. Got her the perfect gift from me to her. Nothing original I guess.. but exactly what I wanted. The beauty of it however doesn;t lie in the gift, but what the gift did for us. Only myself and her knows this.

that is what a gift is supposed to do. Make things better,

this week have been gd. Met ppl obviously was with her. you see I want to be happy. I already am. But all aroiunded happiness. I am feeling too sorry for myself.. Not good for me at all. She keeps me sane. we are walking now.. together. We need to fly again. as individuals which will then lift us higher .. together. I need my friends. I miss them. I miss my ambitions. I miss my stress.. pressure... Life is meaningless without them. The army cna proviude me many a thing. And make me a better person. But. i'm sorry. I have been living my life unlike that.

the army is a thorn. no matter how i look at it. I DO understand the need for it. But I am not happy in it. I have a right to that. I seek to grasp my life. after which i wish to be by her side freely.